During my brain drain hiatus I've been working, reading, and absorbing things to keep my one-celled brain busy. Here's a really good article by Josette Rigsby on the future of mobile development as it permeated SXSW this year: http://www.silverstripe.org/predicting-the-future-of-mobile-development-at-sxswi/
Monday, 19 March 2012
Thursday, 15 March 2012
Software Distribution - What is does it mean?
Posted on 14:35 by Unknown
Maybe you've seen job postings for "Software Packager" or "Software Deployment Specialist" or something like that and wondered what it's really about. Maybe not. Maybe you just don't care. Maybe you're working in the IT industry, but you're not happy with your current situation. Maybe you still don't care. Maybe I don't care either. No. Forget that. I care. I care enough to write this article and bore you to death.
Software Distribution / Deployment, is really about automating the process of installing software on multiple computers over a network. That's it in a nutshell. It breaks down into much more detail, but that's the 50,000 foot level overview.
What do you need to know?
First off, you'll need a pretty solid understanding and familiarity with the Windows platform. The file system, NTFS, permissions, the Registry, Registry permissions, services, processes.
Secondly, you'll need a fair understanding of installing and uninstalling software. Whether it's using MSIEXEC, or some setup.exe (InstallShield, Wise or homegrown crap), as well as dealing with components (DLL, OCX, etc.) and registration (REGSRV32.exe). You should also be familiar with uninstalling and how folders and files are handled (or not) during the removal process.
Third, you'll need a fair understanding of basic scripting techniques. Things like IF, THEN or ELSE are always helpful, since they imply a basic workflow logic, which is how all installers are constructed. For example, "IF does not exist, then install it, ELSE skip to step 43..." and so on. Whether you're more familiar with .BAT or .CMD, or .VBS scripting doesn't matter. It's the same basic logic that matters.
Bonus: InstallShield Editor, AdminStudio, (even Wise Package Studio, rest its poor soul). WMI. Really solid scripting experience (BAT or VBS is fine). Familiarity with switches for setup.exe installers. Familiarity with common software installation options like Java Runtime (JRE), .NET 4, Oracle Client, SQL Native Client, Adobe Flash Player, Microsoft Office 2010, Adobe Acrobat Professional,
Command Shell:
What tools do you use?
You will most likely use a mix of the following types of tools:
The business drivers come from various sources:
Across the United States. Even right here in Virginia Beach, Virginia. In addition, the following locations have been solicited at me by recruiters over the past six months: Arkansas, Oklahoma, New Jersey, Colorado, Florida, Maryland, Delaware, Ohio, Illinois, Rhode Island, Vermont, and Louisiana. If you want to get spammed too, just post your resume on Dice, Monster, CareerBuilder, and watch the spam fly at you. Make sure you update your resume accordingly first, however.
What are the advantages to this role?
Unlike many other jobs, software repackaging and deployment are often self-paced and self-managed tasks. Very few positions will involve any sort of micro-management. You are most often judged on the output results. You'll get to explore the guts of Windows in ways you never imagined, but do so in a way that leads to a goal, rather than wandering around aimlessly. It is indeed a learning experience. A very interesting learning experience. You will learn more about file system security (ACL's), the Registry, Registry data types and Registry security permissions, WMI, command line tools, Sysinternals tools, Windows Installer processing, user context, processes and tokens, services, and much more.
What are the disadvantages to this role?
The big-name software companies have very good resources for documentation, support, downloads, knowledge base articles, etc. Smaller companies however, tend to suck at it. You will spend more time on the little bullshit applications which were not packaged with a standard product like Wise or InstallShield. These are also the source of the most common products that require repackaging (snapshot or monitoring). Their phone reps (if they have any) will insist that all of their customers give all of their computer users full Administrator rights to their computers. They will tie their products to bullshit pre-requisites and components which are outdated or code for things like "user must be 'Administrator', not AN administrator" and more idiocy like that. You will smack yourself in the face enough times to use a good facial moisturizer.
Software Distribution / Deployment, is really about automating the process of installing software on multiple computers over a network. That's it in a nutshell. It breaks down into much more detail, but that's the 50,000 foot level overview.
What do you need to know?
First off, you'll need a pretty solid understanding and familiarity with the Windows platform. The file system, NTFS, permissions, the Registry, Registry permissions, services, processes.
Secondly, you'll need a fair understanding of installing and uninstalling software. Whether it's using MSIEXEC, or some setup.exe (InstallShield, Wise or homegrown crap), as well as dealing with components (DLL, OCX, etc.) and registration (REGSRV32.exe). You should also be familiar with uninstalling and how folders and files are handled (or not) during the removal process.
Third, you'll need a fair understanding of basic scripting techniques. Things like IF, THEN or ELSE are always helpful, since they imply a basic workflow logic, which is how all installers are constructed. For example, "IF
Bonus: InstallShield Editor, AdminStudio, (even Wise Package Studio, rest its poor soul). WMI. Really solid scripting experience (BAT or VBS is fine). Familiarity with switches for setup.exe installers. Familiarity with common software installation options like Java Runtime (JRE), .NET 4, Oracle Client, SQL Native Client, Adobe Flash Player, Microsoft Office 2010, Adobe Acrobat Professional,
Command Shell:
- REG.exe
- REGSVR32.exe
- CACLS.exe
- DEL
- COPY, XCOPY or ROBOCOPY
- MD and RD
- ATTRIB (rarely)
- SC (rarely) or PSSERVICE *
- TASKKILL or PSKILL*
- Sysinternals (*): PSLIST, PSKILL, PSEXEC, PSSERVICE
- REGINI (rarely)
Tricks:
- setup.exe /r (or -r), along with -S -F1, -F2
- Extracting files from bundled installers (WinZip, 7-Zip, etc.)
- Searching for installed components before installing them again
What tools do you use?
You will most likely use a mix of the following types of tools:
- A computer with LOTS of memory and an extra hard drive
- A virtualization product (VMware Workstation, VMware Player, Virtual Box, etc.)
- A text editor (Notepad, TextPad, DevPad, Ultra Dev, maxipads, minipads, whatever)
- A capturing tool (Flexera AdminStudio / Repackager)
- A setup editor (Flexera InstallShield Editor)
- A Transform editor (Flexera InstallShield Editor and/or AdminStudio Tuner)
- AppDeploy.com
- MyITForum.com
- Coffee or Red Bull
- Sugary or Crunchy snacks
- Music (with headphones)
- A comfortable chair
The business drivers come from various sources:
- Cyclical upgrades (new version of the same product)
- Cyclical updates (hot fixes, patches, etc.)
- Windows 7 compatibility (not very often anymore, actually)
- Configuration changes (enable/disable features)
- New Products (purchased)
- Allocation Changes (moving installation from user-to-user, or machine-to-machine)
Across the United States. Even right here in Virginia Beach, Virginia. In addition, the following locations have been solicited at me by recruiters over the past six months: Arkansas, Oklahoma, New Jersey, Colorado, Florida, Maryland, Delaware, Ohio, Illinois, Rhode Island, Vermont, and Louisiana. If you want to get spammed too, just post your resume on Dice, Monster, CareerBuilder, and watch the spam fly at you. Make sure you update your resume accordingly first, however.
What are the advantages to this role?
Unlike many other jobs, software repackaging and deployment are often self-paced and self-managed tasks. Very few positions will involve any sort of micro-management. You are most often judged on the output results. You'll get to explore the guts of Windows in ways you never imagined, but do so in a way that leads to a goal, rather than wandering around aimlessly. It is indeed a learning experience. A very interesting learning experience. You will learn more about file system security (ACL's), the Registry, Registry data types and Registry security permissions, WMI, command line tools, Sysinternals tools, Windows Installer processing, user context, processes and tokens, services, and much more.
What are the disadvantages to this role?
The big-name software companies have very good resources for documentation, support, downloads, knowledge base articles, etc. Smaller companies however, tend to suck at it. You will spend more time on the little bullshit applications which were not packaged with a standard product like Wise or InstallShield. These are also the source of the most common products that require repackaging (snapshot or monitoring). Their phone reps (if they have any) will insist that all of their customers give all of their computer users full Administrator rights to their computers. They will tie their products to bullshit pre-requisites and components which are outdated or code for things like "user must be 'Administrator', not AN administrator" and more idiocy like that. You will smack yourself in the face enough times to use a good facial moisturizer.
Wednesday, 14 March 2012
State of the Tech Industry: Sort Of.
Posted on 19:35 by Unknown
Here's my two-cent predictions: Keep in mind that I don't own stock or any vested interest in any tech company. My employer is a partner of Microsoft, VMware, Cisco, HP, NetApp, and others. We work on all major platforms, and my personal role is in the area of software deployment automation and business systems automation. We don't sell hardware or software. We sell services. Ok, enough of the disclaimer crap...
Regardless of the blabbering from all of the Android tablet vendors, Apple will remain comfortably in the lead of the tablet market for at least the next two years (out to 2014 at least). Android tablets won't even match it in terms of sales or market share (for similar form factors). iPad will remain on top of the market for a long time to come. This isn't just my view. It's also the view of most major tech industry analysts.
Microsoft will make major gains in server virtualization when Windows 8 Server Hyper-V ships, which will cause EMC/VMware to cut prices and shift their pawns on the board to avoid losing customers. Cost alone will be a huge weapon, especially when reviews start pouring in about Hyper-V's improved features, scalability, reliability and uptake.
Microsoft will make smaller, but noticeable, gains in market-share against Oracle with SQL Server 2012. The new features and capabilities, combined with the much cheaper cost, will be hard for cost-conscious customers to ignore. It will be slow gains at first though.
Flexera Software will continue to prosper from the looming death of Wise Package Studio and the ignorant stupidity of Symantec. There is now an effective monopoly in the software packaging and repackaging market, but it's under the RADAR of almost everyone, so they will slide through comfortably to a nice profit margin. More businesses are adopting FlexLM and FlexNet Manager products as well, so support revenues will continue to grow at modest rates.
Windows 8 uptake will be slow but respectable in the consumer market. In the business/enterprise market however, it will be negligible. Not because it's a bad product or anything like that. Here's why: Most businesses are JUST NOW ramping up to migrated to Windows 7, which has bumped up budgets for hardware replacements, additional memory, hard drives, and other bandaids. Most of them are in a position in 2012 where they're either far enough into Windows 7, that it makes no sense to shift into Windows 8 within the next year at the soonest. Add to that those that are still on XP who see what Windows 8 CP reviews are shaping up to be. It's being perceived as a pure consumer play. Tablets. Not for business desktops or laptops. Some will buy it, but nowhere near has significantly as Windows 7 has seen.
Now, Windows 8 Server will be a different ball game entirely. I see that making significant gains in late 2012 and early 2013. Mainly because (A) a lot of customers have stayed on Windows Server 2008 and waited out R2, and (B) the new features in Windows Server 8 will woo a lot of them to skip R2 entirely, which wouldn't be a bad move. There's nothing wrong with R2, but let's face it: There are few, if any, "gotta have" features in it for most businesses as it relates to the upgrade cost. Windows Server 8, on the other hand, packs a pretty big punch. The bang for the buck is on the side of Windows Server 8:
Regardless of the blabbering from all of the Android tablet vendors, Apple will remain comfortably in the lead of the tablet market for at least the next two years (out to 2014 at least). Android tablets won't even match it in terms of sales or market share (for similar form factors). iPad will remain on top of the market for a long time to come. This isn't just my view. It's also the view of most major tech industry analysts.
Microsoft will make major gains in server virtualization when Windows 8 Server Hyper-V ships, which will cause EMC/VMware to cut prices and shift their pawns on the board to avoid losing customers. Cost alone will be a huge weapon, especially when reviews start pouring in about Hyper-V's improved features, scalability, reliability and uptake.
Microsoft will make smaller, but noticeable, gains in market-share against Oracle with SQL Server 2012. The new features and capabilities, combined with the much cheaper cost, will be hard for cost-conscious customers to ignore. It will be slow gains at first though.
Flexera Software will continue to prosper from the looming death of Wise Package Studio and the ignorant stupidity of Symantec. There is now an effective monopoly in the software packaging and repackaging market, but it's under the RADAR of almost everyone, so they will slide through comfortably to a nice profit margin. More businesses are adopting FlexLM and FlexNet Manager products as well, so support revenues will continue to grow at modest rates.
Windows 8 uptake will be slow but respectable in the consumer market. In the business/enterprise market however, it will be negligible. Not because it's a bad product or anything like that. Here's why: Most businesses are JUST NOW ramping up to migrated to Windows 7, which has bumped up budgets for hardware replacements, additional memory, hard drives, and other bandaids. Most of them are in a position in 2012 where they're either far enough into Windows 7, that it makes no sense to shift into Windows 8 within the next year at the soonest. Add to that those that are still on XP who see what Windows 8 CP reviews are shaping up to be. It's being perceived as a pure consumer play. Tablets. Not for business desktops or laptops. Some will buy it, but nowhere near has significantly as Windows 7 has seen.
Now, Windows 8 Server will be a different ball game entirely. I see that making significant gains in late 2012 and early 2013. Mainly because (A) a lot of customers have stayed on Windows Server 2008 and waited out R2, and (B) the new features in Windows Server 8 will woo a lot of them to skip R2 entirely, which wouldn't be a bad move. There's nothing wrong with R2, but let's face it: There are few, if any, "gotta have" features in it for most businesses as it relates to the upgrade cost. Windows Server 8, on the other hand, packs a pretty big punch. The bang for the buck is on the side of Windows Server 8:
- Hyper-V 3.0 (with concurrent Live Migration, VHDX, etc.)
- Disk Data Dedupe
- AD integrated KMS activation
- DHCP redundancy
- Improved Clustering and Cluster Shared Volumes
- Claims Based Authentication
- SMB 2.2
- AD DC cloning
- Improved Branch Cache
- NIC Teaming
- Enhanced PowerShell 3.0 features (web interface, Intelli-Sense, etc.) In fact, the entire OS is written CMD shell first, and GUI afterwards. Sound familiar?
- A newer, leaner Core edition
- Trevor Pott does a good job of itemizing Windows Server 8. Check it out.
Bing will continue to lose money for Microsoft, but they'll play a shuffle game with other OSD projects and roll in Xbox, Ad services, and Metro and make it confusing to isolate which hole is sucking the most revenue.
Someone will buy RIM, kill off the product line (Blackberry) and rape the IP treasure chest. There's no future value in the products themselves anymore, but the patents are worth a ton. Wouldn't it be poetically ironic if NTP were to acquire RIM?
Symantec and McAfee will soon begin the long, slow, depressing march to their deaths. With Microsoft rolling ForeFront and Security Essentials evermore tightly into their products, at little or no cost to consumers, those one-trick ponies will be searching for new revenue streams, probably stepping into the Linux services market like Novell tried. Look how well that worked for them.
We'll either keep Obama or get a new president, but nothing will change for any of us regular working folks. It never does. It never will either. Just keep watching your favorite TV show or sports games, that will keep you distracted and happy.
We'll continue to hear about Iran in the news for a long time to come, but the U.S. will do nothing militarily against them directly. It will be another year of lip service.
Someone will find, capture or kill Kony. Another Kony-clone will pop up within 15 minutes to replace him.
Gas prices will continue to fluctuate, but gradually rise through the Summer. We will all bitch and moan like babies, but swipe our credit cards and fill up like good sheep. Congress will pretend to "haul" the oil company executives in front of "panels" on TV, to act like they're slapping them around, only to appeal to voters and win another term. Ultimately, nothing will happen to the oil companies and we will be happy to give them more of our money like good sheep do.
It's March 14, 2012. Check back on this March 14, 2013 and see how well I predicted this mess.
Posted in blackberry, business, flexnet, installshield, marketing, microsoft, oracle, symantec, vmware, windows server, windows8
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Tuesday, 6 March 2012
Don't Be Afraid to Ask
Posted on 19:43 by Unknown
Nearly every project I have ever been involved with, or even witnessed, in my lifetime, ranging in budget from a few dollars to millions of dollars, was usually dunked in the shit tank at some point because nobody spoke up at the right time to ask what it is/was they are really, ultimately, trying to accomplish and why.
It's as if there was a tribe of people marching along in a single-file line across a vast desert waste land, meandering all over, while following the foot steps of the person in front of them. After miles of trekking, someone in the back of the line finally asks "where the fuck are we going? why are we going this way?"
This is critical.
This is where you see what an organization is really made of. If the others in line turn and acknowledge that it is a worthy question, and take up the cause, you have a good group of people. If they tell the guy to be quiet, you have a death march into the vast abyss of failure laying ahead of you.
If you read books by, or about, famously successful business people, visionaries, you will find a common thread is that they not only form a great team around them, but they listen to them. Whether it's Lee Iacocca, or Steve Jobs, or Randy Pausch, they not only allowed for dissent to be voiced, they encouraged it. Failure is going to happen. It's how you recover that matters. But if you force everyone around you to accept an opaque vision and a unclear direction, they often shy away from speaking up. This breeds fear of failure, which breeds fear of taking risks. Without taking risks, you can't make real progress.
If you're not sure what kind of environment you're really working in, just ask the basic questions, and not just once, but often. Make sure you get a real answer, and not some rhetorical politi-speak.
"What are we ultimately trying to accomplish?"
"Why?"
"For whom?"
Most projects that falter, tend to focus on the "what", "when" and "where" aspects. But without the "why" and "who", it's like a ship without a rudder. Money will be spent and time consumed, mini-projects spawn and take on their own lives, people gain new career footholds at the expense of hooking the organization on yet another dependency they can't easily (or cheaply) cut loose. Rice bowls. Mini-kingdoms. Politics. All the poisons of a solid, progressive, quality-minded team. Death by a thousand cuts.
Just ask "why?"
It's as if there was a tribe of people marching along in a single-file line across a vast desert waste land, meandering all over, while following the foot steps of the person in front of them. After miles of trekking, someone in the back of the line finally asks "where the fuck are we going? why are we going this way?"
This is critical.
This is where you see what an organization is really made of. If the others in line turn and acknowledge that it is a worthy question, and take up the cause, you have a good group of people. If they tell the guy to be quiet, you have a death march into the vast abyss of failure laying ahead of you.
If you read books by, or about, famously successful business people, visionaries, you will find a common thread is that they not only form a great team around them, but they listen to them. Whether it's Lee Iacocca, or Steve Jobs, or Randy Pausch, they not only allowed for dissent to be voiced, they encouraged it. Failure is going to happen. It's how you recover that matters. But if you force everyone around you to accept an opaque vision and a unclear direction, they often shy away from speaking up. This breeds fear of failure, which breeds fear of taking risks. Without taking risks, you can't make real progress.
If you're not sure what kind of environment you're really working in, just ask the basic questions, and not just once, but often. Make sure you get a real answer, and not some rhetorical politi-speak.
"What are we ultimately trying to accomplish?"
"Why?"
"For whom?"
Most projects that falter, tend to focus on the "what", "when" and "where" aspects. But without the "why" and "who", it's like a ship without a rudder. Money will be spent and time consumed, mini-projects spawn and take on their own lives, people gain new career footholds at the expense of hooking the organization on yet another dependency they can't easily (or cheaply) cut loose. Rice bowls. Mini-kingdoms. Politics. All the poisons of a solid, progressive, quality-minded team. Death by a thousand cuts.
Just ask "why?"
Monday, 5 March 2012
Windows 8 or Windows 7 R2 (?)
Posted on 06:14 by Unknown
I ran the earlier "Developer Preview" for about a month on a bare metal install. It was nice, but too buggy to keep using it beyond that. I went back to Windows 7.
Then I downloaded the more recent "Consumer Preview" release, and followed the same process:
A HUGE, I repeat HUGE, number of components and apps that ship with it were not upgraded or updated. MMC 3.0, Event Viewer, Computer ("system") properties, Network Interface (sharing and etc.), Services, and nearly all the .MSC add-ins, are all the same as before. I dare anyone to identify what was improved from WMP 11 to WMP 12 besides the version number. REGEDIT, most of the command tools like SC, REG, CACLS, XCOPY, etc. haven't changed one bit.
Let's call it what it is: A tweaked version of Windows 7 for tablets.
If you're on a desktop it's really not a huge benefit. The jury remains out as to whether the IT-oriented improvements are really better than Windows 7. DISM, and imaging features saw some improvements, but beyond that? We shall see. It looks like the "consumer" in "consumer preview" is the clearest indicator that this isn't aimed at businesses or IT shops at all. Purely a consumer play, which is fine, but the marketing hype needs to be viewed with Cap'n Crunch secret decoder goggles to filter out the marketing noise.
I'm expecting the Microsoft marketing machinery to do the same thing they did with Windows 7: Focus on consumer and UI/UX features and completely ignore the (positive) business impacts, and IT management features. Too bad. When Windows 7 hit the streets, those of us in the IT world found ourselves digging up our own "what's cool" lists to convince management that upgrading to Windows 7 was worthwhile. Given the revenue channels Windows follows, you'd think the focus would have been the opposite.
Microsoft left IT professionals holding the bag on making our own business case arguments, at least during the first few months after release. Later, of course, they gradually fed the enterprise customer pipeline more and more details about the improvements for their environments.
Let's hope they have something to offer business customers besides a cool touch-screen interface.
Then I downloaded the more recent "Consumer Preview" release, and followed the same process:
- Installed in a virtual guest machine for a few days to evaluate
- Back up my physical machine and create a repair disk
- Wipe and load the new OS on bare metal, formatting the entire hard drive
After a week, I have the following thoughts:
- The Consumer Preview is much more stable and reliable than the Developer Preview
- The new Start Screen interface (aka "Metro" or "tiles") is aimed at tablets only
- The new Start Screen interface doesn't offer any benefit on a desktop or laptop
- Some apps work only in "Desktop" mode
- Some apps work differently between Start and Desktop modes
- Most of the staple apps have not changed at all (see below)
- Windows 8 is really more like a Windows 7 R2
It has a new-ish interface, sort of, kind of, except when it jumps back to "desktop" mode for many apps. Yes IE10 is a little faster, depending on which flavor of it you launch, but installing Flash, or other plug-ins is klunky unless using the desktop flavor. Explorer finally has a ribbon. wow. That could've been added to Win7 by a hotfix, but they held off until this.
A HUGE, I repeat HUGE, number of components and apps that ship with it were not upgraded or updated. MMC 3.0, Event Viewer, Computer ("system") properties, Network Interface (sharing and etc.), Services, and nearly all the .MSC add-ins, are all the same as before. I dare anyone to identify what was improved from WMP 11 to WMP 12 besides the version number. REGEDIT, most of the command tools like SC, REG, CACLS, XCOPY, etc. haven't changed one bit.
Let's call it what it is: A tweaked version of Windows 7 for tablets.
If you're on a desktop it's really not a huge benefit. The jury remains out as to whether the IT-oriented improvements are really better than Windows 7. DISM, and imaging features saw some improvements, but beyond that? We shall see. It looks like the "consumer" in "consumer preview" is the clearest indicator that this isn't aimed at businesses or IT shops at all. Purely a consumer play, which is fine, but the marketing hype needs to be viewed with Cap'n Crunch secret decoder goggles to filter out the marketing noise.
I'm expecting the Microsoft marketing machinery to do the same thing they did with Windows 7: Focus on consumer and UI/UX features and completely ignore the (positive) business impacts, and IT management features. Too bad. When Windows 7 hit the streets, those of us in the IT world found ourselves digging up our own "what's cool" lists to convince management that upgrading to Windows 7 was worthwhile. Given the revenue channels Windows follows, you'd think the focus would have been the opposite.
Microsoft left IT professionals holding the bag on making our own business case arguments, at least during the first few months after release. Later, of course, they gradually fed the enterprise customer pipeline more and more details about the improvements for their environments.
Let's hope they have something to offer business customers besides a cool touch-screen interface.
Friday, 2 March 2012
Don't be THAT Douchebag, mm-kay?
Posted on 06:29 by Unknown
There are a lot of signs that you could be falling into the douche tank of life. The douche tank is that vat of putrid ass-ness that people end up in by virtue of not using their brain. We are all guilty of bad brain days, like bad hair days, they happen. But when they become habitual, it's a sure sign of swimming in the douche tank. Here's some examples...
Arguing about Technology
You get into debates over which operating system is better/superior/best/coolest/most-coolest/whatever. You forgot that operating systems are tools, like you. It's one thing to get sucked into a mindless debate like this for about fifteen seconds, but after one minute: you are a douche. Snap out of it. Drink a beer. Get laid. Do something to remind your one-celled brain that there's more to life than computers. Trust me: there is. You continue on arguing to the goal line and when you cross it, you are now a douche.
Political Blabbering
You blabber about which president is to blame over some particular issue you feel certain is destroying the country and all of mankind. You forgot to wait for the weekends to use your plastic bong back in high school and you were stoned out of your one-celled mind in class all week. That part where the teacher lectured you on the fact that the President does not have ANY unlimited powers, and that nearly every significant historical change that has come out of your government (besides gay sex phone call scandals) as actually the work of the House and Senate.
You start arguing like a machine gun, using bullets you soaked up from watching some news show that morning, and you start blaming "Executive Order" powers. You were stoned on that Tuesday when the lecture was about how E.O. powers can be checked as well. You also tried to feebly use that argument in defense of the issue you believe is destroying the nation, but you forgot to check if that issue had anything to do with E.O. actions, and it didn't, and now you are a major douche.
Religious Blabbering
Nobody gives a flying shit what you think. You know how I know that? Because nobody gives a flying shit what I think either. In truth, none of us really knows anything. We think we do. Thinking we know something that we really don't is the most dangerously irresponsible and disingenuous thing there is.
If you're uber-religious, fine. You still can't claim to "know" everything because that would be claiming you are as knowledgeable about God as God is. Are you ready to go there?
If you're an atheist, fine too. You still can't claim to "know" everything because science hasn't solved all of the unknowns yet.
So, it looks like there's a BIG GAP in the middle where us stupid-ass humans really don't have ALL the answers. So rather than expelling hundreds of cubic feet of wasted air and ear drum torturing, how about you just STFU and be happy to believe whatever it is you believe and let me get back to work. Otherwise, you qualify as King Douche.
Pseudo Individuality
You got a raise or a nice tax refund. You jump for joy and do your best end zone TD dance and almost throw your back out. You start brainstorming what you're going to spend it on. I can go ahead and tell you what you're statistically most likely to do with it...
Arguing about Technology
You get into debates over which operating system is better/superior/best/coolest/most-coolest/whatever. You forgot that operating systems are tools, like you. It's one thing to get sucked into a mindless debate like this for about fifteen seconds, but after one minute: you are a douche. Snap out of it. Drink a beer. Get laid. Do something to remind your one-celled brain that there's more to life than computers. Trust me: there is. You continue on arguing to the goal line and when you cross it, you are now a douche.
Political Blabbering
You blabber about which president is to blame over some particular issue you feel certain is destroying the country and all of mankind. You forgot to wait for the weekends to use your plastic bong back in high school and you were stoned out of your one-celled mind in class all week. That part where the teacher lectured you on the fact that the President does not have ANY unlimited powers, and that nearly every significant historical change that has come out of your government (besides gay sex phone call scandals) as actually the work of the House and Senate.
You start arguing like a machine gun, using bullets you soaked up from watching some news show that morning, and you start blaming "Executive Order" powers. You were stoned on that Tuesday when the lecture was about how E.O. powers can be checked as well. You also tried to feebly use that argument in defense of the issue you believe is destroying the nation, but you forgot to check if that issue had anything to do with E.O. actions, and it didn't, and now you are a major douche.
Religious Blabbering
Nobody gives a flying shit what you think. You know how I know that? Because nobody gives a flying shit what I think either. In truth, none of us really knows anything. We think we do. Thinking we know something that we really don't is the most dangerously irresponsible and disingenuous thing there is.
If you're uber-religious, fine. You still can't claim to "know" everything because that would be claiming you are as knowledgeable about God as God is. Are you ready to go there?
If you're an atheist, fine too. You still can't claim to "know" everything because science hasn't solved all of the unknowns yet.
So, it looks like there's a BIG GAP in the middle where us stupid-ass humans really don't have ALL the answers. So rather than expelling hundreds of cubic feet of wasted air and ear drum torturing, how about you just STFU and be happy to believe whatever it is you believe and let me get back to work. Otherwise, you qualify as King Douche.
Pseudo Individuality
You got a raise or a nice tax refund. You jump for joy and do your best end zone TD dance and almost throw your back out. You start brainstorming what you're going to spend it on. I can go ahead and tell you what you're statistically most likely to do with it...
- Buy a red, blue, black or silver Chevy Camaro, Ford Mustang or Dodge Challenger
- Buy a "custom" Harley knock-off, with the standard-issue leather chaps, boots, vest, and tired-ass Nazi battle helmet.
- Buy a set of Celtic style tattoos
- Get a big screen TV
- Get your teeth whitened or a set of Invisaligns
- Get a hair weave
Thirty years ago, you would have made an extra effort to NOT spend it on anything that was considered "popular". That whole perspective of being "different", "unique", and (dare I say) "innovative" is dead and buried. Back then, you built a chopper from spare parts and it was your own creation. I know because I grew up surrounded by them. Today you buy them off a web site and click the little scroller to cycle through the options and styles. Progress isn't really progress, it's douche-gress.
War Buff Blabbering
You're at a party or bar or around a bunch of guys you're trying to impress. You start off a sentence with "what they should do in Iran is..." and tack on some verbage about sending in SEAL teams, dropping bombs, and killing massive numbers of people to prove we are the biggest and baddest-ass nation on Earth. After all, that's what Jesus would do, right? You start talking about mechanical terms and you feel a strange sexual arousal while spatting off names of tanks, planes, ships, guns, and high tech weaponry.
Then someone asks you: "Hey. Have you been in a war? Ever kill anyone?" You stammer and stumble a bit, hem and haw, and try reinforcing yourself against the blinding punches to your brain by describing how many of your friends and family are in the military. But the question is repeated, and you still can't answer it correctly. You have stepped into the Douche zone.
Thursday, 1 March 2012
Windows 8 Task Manager
Posted on 05:59 by Unknown
The new Task Manager application in Windows 8 isn't a radically new thing, but it certainly has been overhauled and polished up quite a bit. Some parts of it, such as the Details panel (figure 5), will look familiar. Some are new, such as Application History (figure 3)
| Figure 1 |
| Figure 2 |
| Figure 3 |
| Figure 4 |
| Figure 5 |
| Figure 6 |
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