Saturday, 31 December 2011
Happy New Year!
Saturday, 24 December 2011
Looking Back. Looking Ahead
The time has come to put a fork in it though. I may post occasionally, but not nearly as frequently as I have in the past. I spend more time on Google+, Twitter, and Facebook anyway, and those are my pressure relief valves at the moment. If you still want to follow what I'm ranting about, you can hit me up at one of the following links. I'd love to hear from you.
I will likely post an update when my next book is released, which I'm hoping will be in January. That's an aggressive target date, so it might slip if I can't knock out the research I need to finish it up in time.
In any case, I want to THANK YOU for following me this long, or however long you've been following me, even if this is the first post you've read (go back and read some of my older ones if you have time). I also want to wish you and your family and friends a Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah, Happy Kwanzaa, Happy Ramadan or just a Happy ___(fill in your preferred celebratory event) _____. May you be happy, healthy and prosperous and may you make those around you happier as well.
Google+
Thursday, 22 December 2011
Part 2
Every Windows platform software vendor would provide ONLY MSI-based installers, and all of their updates would be .MSP patches. Setup.exe files would be outlawed.
Software vendors who publish software that requires users to have Administrator rights would be hanged in public.
Microsoft Access would be banned. The mere mention of its name would be punishable by death. Anyone caught with an .MDB or .ACCDB file on their computer would have their hands sewn to their face.
Wearers of sagging pants would be punished by having their pants removed in public.
Bumper stickers would have to be funny or be removed.
All beer would be required to be 8% or higher.
Marijuana would be legal. Why not? Guns, Tobacco and Alcohol are legal.
Anyone caught arguing over PC vs Mac would be forced to wear a chicken suit for an entire week in public.
Wednesday, 21 December 2011
If the World was Perfect
But IF it were perfect...
Government would actually work FOR the people and try to accomplish something besides playing games and pointing fingers while taking lobbyist money and making empty promises.
Wireless networks would be pervasive across all places, everywhere, all of the time.
Weathermen would be fined for incorrect forecasts
City council and mayors would not be allowed to keep their former jobs at banks, real estate companies and investment firms.
SUVs and Trucks would get their own lane, so the rest of us could see what's happening up ahead (and not have headlights on the back of our heads)
Bike and walking paths would connect every city and throughout each city
A mass transit system would get us where we need to go and when we need to get there, and it would be reliable and cheap.
Religious people would be happy with their religion and stop blabbering about it to everyone else all the time.
There would be no more xxx-American hyphenations. You're either in or you're out. Pick one.
People who save peoples lives would be paid the same as professional athletes.
People who defend our country, especially in active combat, would be paid the same as professional athletes.
IT engineers would be seen as sex symbols and heroes of mankind.
News reports would be required to report ONLY facts, nothing else. No editorializing. No speculating. Every story must be reported in 30 seconds or less. Weather forecasts in 15 seconds. Penalty for going over: labor camp or 24 hours of laxatives.
Political campaigns, including ads, banners, marketing of any kind would be limited to only the last week before the election occurs.
Pro football games would be required to show equal time for game plays as well as cheerleader close-ups.
Anyone guilty of buying the same car, motorcycle, truck, SUV, van or bicycle as anyone else within a 1 mile radius would be sent to work in Somalia for a year. This is America: the land of innovation and imagination. Try to act like it.
Customers would get exactly 15 seconds to order at any drive-thru. After that, a machine would crush the vehicle in a compactor, with all occupants, and dispose of it immediately.
Concert tickets would never cost more than $20.
I'll think of more later....
I ****ing Hate Microsoft Access
Time to Vent...
Microsoft Access is evil. It is the worst God-forsaken piece of shit ever perpetrated on enterprise customers in the history of mankind. It has held up migrations of Office suites in more places than I have days to count. The notion of bundling applications WITH databases is as stupid as riding a bicycle off a cliff. I fucking HATE that application. My teeth are clenched. This is not good. I must continue...
God****it - Access has wasted so much time of so many people's lives that will never be recouped. I can almost forgive IBM for OS/2 Warp, and Autodesk for R13, hell I can even forgive MS-DOS, but I cannot forgive Access. What a fetid turd of technological vacuousness. Is that even a real word? Vacuousness? Whatever. I made it up because thinking about Access pisses me off.
Is there any shortage of reiterated emphasis on "de-coupled" application logic on MSDN? On TechNet? On ANY programming site? Publish a rule and break it. Just as I blogged about with the Configuration Manager AD publishing guideline, but whatever, I need a glass of wine now...
Today makes at least two dozen situations, over the past 12 years, where a customer has to hold up everything because the dipshit department is arguing over upgrading their craphole Access "application" and who will pay for it (you know: "We think YOU should pay because YOU are forcing US to upgrade to 2010" versus "We think YOU should pay because YOU made a stupid garage-app piece of fucking shit mistake that WE are having to pay for in lost time and productivity") Wash - Rinse - and Repeat - AGAIN.
Tuesday, 20 December 2011
If You Watch One Video on this Site...
Sunday, 18 December 2011
Six Days and Counting
Meanwhile, I've been working on my next book, and it's killing me. I'm hoping to have it out in January. It's the biggest book I've done yet, and much more complex and challenging. That's all I'm going to say for now because it's still not a 100% done deal at this point. I will post something when it's for certain.
Saturday, 17 December 2011
A Circle of Imaginary Links
Anyone who has worked with Configuration Manager for a while knows about Packages, Programs, Advertisements, and Collections. They also know the difference between "Software Products" and "Add Remove Programs" as it pertains to inventory reporting. Seasoned software packagers (or more appropriately termed "repackagers") know about creating .MSI and bootstrap .EXE InstallShield packages as well. But there's a sinister problem lurking in all of this...
The names assigned to Packages, Programs, Advertisements and Collections are arbitrary. Sure, many places have adopted standards for naming things, but still, it's a human dependency.
The names assigned to an application are controlled by the vendors, but only if they created the application. And then there's the issue of how well they apply consistent naming standards to their individual components.
Just yesterday I was poking around to find how many installations of a product at version "7.11.3" were in our environment. As I watched the report start to build, it was showing "7.10" and even "7.9.1" installations as well. But the engineers assured me that the package they deployed had uninstalled previous versions before initializing the new installation. After some investigation, it turns out the vendor left components in their 7.11.3 installer that still identified themselves as "Product Name 7.9.1" so Configuration Manager dutifully picked it up and reported it. Switching over to the ARP (that's Add or Remove Programs list) report, it correctly showed 7.11.3 was the only installation.
I won't even get into the products that dump garbage components on computers that identify themselves with product names like "Update", "O&%$__#" and "Company Name". So far, free markets and consumer-driven competition are not doing much to fix that mess, but neither would and overly restrictive government regulation. It's just typical stupid human behavior (e.g. laziness).
Back to the topic.
So, when pulling a report of what software is installed on computers, it can be helpful to also include some attributes for each product such as "Is-Packaged", "Is-Windows7-Ready", "Is-Current-Supported", and so on. You can beat some of that out of Asset Intelligence, but some you cannot. For example, to really know if an installed product has a corresponding Configuration Manager Package and Advertisement, you need to somehow relate the installed Product Name and Version to the Configuration Manager Package and Advertisement. Sounds easy enough, right?
Ok, you've got an environment where you have deployed 500 installations of AutoCAD 2012 using a network license client, and 25 of AutoCAD 2012 with a standalone license. From ARP reports it will show them all as "AutoCAD 2012 English" or something generic like that. But you can't use the same package to deploy both (well, you could, but now we're talking about some twisted branched logic in the package using a script or some other intermediary program logic), so how would you know that you've got "A Package" for "AutoCAD 2012" and which one it belongs to?
Even if you switch to linking to the Installed Programs list (pulled from a query of .EXE files on the computer) it would show "AutoCAD 2012" or "AutoCAD R18.x" or something like that, not "AutoCAD 2012 Network Client", because they will both read from "acad.exe" and the only difference you could pull might be the size of the file itself. What about products that are only installed as part of another product advertisement? What about all those Autodesk Design Review and DWG True View installations that were placed by your various AutoCAD and Revit and Inventor deployment packages? How do you automate the referential integrity of those applications to a source package and advertisement?
In case you haven't already surmised, this is all analogous to Reverse Lookup DNS. Forward lookup is easy: This package and advertisement installs this application. Fine. Now, what package and advertisement installed this application on these 100,000 computers? How do I automate that workflow?
What happens when you have in-house developers and packagers putting together things to deploy? How about those not uncommon cases where the package doesn't really install a product, but registers components and files that support another product, but which are given their own name by virtue of how business operational minds like to give names to things that don't really exist? You know, when you install and register three DLL files, open a firewall port and now the user can access a special web application in their browser, so that deployed bundle of crap is given the name of whatever it is that they connect to via the browser. It's not really an installed application, is it? If the users rely on this to connect to a web application named "Fubar", good luck convincing them to call it "installed components to support Fubar". They're going to call it "Fubar" and ask "when are you going to get my Fubar installed?" Oh yes. You can bet on that.
I'm digressing. It's much easier to convey this verbally than in writing. I have lots of stories to illustrate this weird delusional mess.
This is the mind-bending thought process that swims around in my head as I've been building a web-based asset management process for a customer. The process allows them to overtly control these arbitrary relationships for more than just reporting. It also allows them to manage distribution that comes into play when executing computer replacements versus computer refreshes (refresh in this case means upgrade the OS and map in required application upgrades at the same time).
For example, the computers in a particular department-based collection all have XP and Office 2007, but they will be reimaged via SCCM OSD with Windows 7 and Office 2010, but they each have unique LOB (line of business) applications installed. Many require an upgrade to work with Windows 7, or the customer budgeted for new versions based on feature enhancements and decided to tie it into the same upgrade window. Regardless, they needed a quick and easy way to select an upgrade mapping individually and in batch to say "these computers get the newer version" and "these don't get an upgrade" as well as "remove it from these computers entirely". It's much more complex than this, but that's a simplified example.
In short, all I can say is that I LOVE working with this stuff. It falls squarely in the field of work I crave: "Windows Platform Business Process Automation" or WPBPA. I believe I invented this term, so neener neener neeeeeeener. I need some breakfast and coffee as I've been up all night working on my next book project. Holy cow - what sleep can do for you. Cheers!
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Friday, 16 December 2011
Amazon Prime Members: Check This Out
- The AutoCAD Network Administrator's Bible, 2012 Edition
- The Visual LISP Developer's Bible, 2011 Edition
- The Packager's Pocket Reference, 2nd Edition
Monday, 12 December 2011
Database Digressions and Developmental Digestion
Put on your caffeine hat and come with me on a voyage into the ethereal world of nerds versus geeks. That's the party peel-off sticker I'm slapping our foreheads, written with a blunt Crayola crayon. With enough alcohol and caffeine it will all make sense soon enough. Let's go...
I would venture to say that 99.99 percent of software development projects, probably even software development organizations, are arranged into de facto groups that place the application "coders" in a separate function from the database folks. The problem this has created has been legendary. It's not only led to human behavioral issues and philosphical approaches to address such structural idiosyncracies, but it has also led to mechanical approaches, such as LINQ and XPATH, and so on. Trying to fit automation processes to human processes is always a challenge, on a good day. When the human process is broken, it's a disaster that unfolds slowly and often at an incredibly high cost (both in terms of time and money).
Did i say INCREDIBLY high cost? Yes. Incredibly high. The problem is that it's almost always a secondary, or tertiary cost. The kind that don't stand out in distinction on a balance sheet, so they often hide in the margins. Those are what often lead to bad feelings between IT groups and the Financial groups. The main reason is that the Financial folks are left to ponder where these strange, nebulous cost creeps are coming from, while the tech-minded IT (Dev) folks are rarely prepared to articulate and quantify them adequately. They may indeed "know" where they come from, but cannot communicate it in the language of Finance, so they shy away from it, making the problem worse over time. This is analogous to a couple that don't discuss sensitive issues because they know they will always turn into an argument.
Mechanical Aspects
I'm digressing into the human/financial aspects. But what about the structural and mechanical aspects?
I have mixed feelings about things like LINQ. It's technically a very clever, impressively creative approach to translating mental processes from one world to another. But at the same time, I've rarely seen die-hard DBA's embrace it over traditional SQL/T-SQL, so the divergence is not only mitigated, but elevated with yet another wedge driven into place. A classic example is when a Dev guy walks over to ask for help with a complex SQL query that was coded in LINQ (or anything other than T-SQL) and the DBA looks at it and says "Sorry. I work with SQL. Can't help you." I am aware there are exceptions to this scenario, but they are "exceptions", not the general, majority rule, at least from what I've seen and heard. I admit that I haven't seen or experienced every environment, so I'm obviously speaking anecdotally.
I'm picking on LINQ unfairly though. It's not really a fault of LINQ. It's a respectable concept and the incarnation has evolved respectably as well. It's somewhat of a situation of "blaming the messenger" when the message is the problem. The message is unavoidable though. The message is a symptom of an age-old broken human condition in the IT environment: divisional politics. Not departmental, but "divisional" in the same sense as "functional", whereby the DBA and Dev folks are functionally divided. They may be best of friends. They may be mortal enemies. It doesn't really matter, since they still focus on, and operate within their own distinct worlds, with their own unique languages and customs.
Bridges of Translation
If you are in a large enough organization to afford the luxury of a dedicated API group, they may be your bridge. Having to convey the wishes of the AppDev folks with the plumbing capabilities of the server and DBA folks, they become the liaisons of different cultures and dialects. They may even provide the abstraction that spares the AppDev team from the horrors of learning a different culture in order to cook their programmatic banquet meals. If you're not that fortunate, it sucks to be you, maybe. Just kidding. Ok, I'm really not kidding, it really does suck to be in that situation. I've been there so I'm not trying to condescend as much as sympathize.
Ramifications
The end result of these cultural divides is that databases go in one direction and code goes off in another direction. Efficiency suffers. Progress is stammered. If the groups are in different physical locations (different rooms, buildings, cities, countries) it only exacerbates this further by making it too easy to cultivate an "us versus them" environment. If you have any poison pill personalities in either group it can be gasoline on a smoldering fire, so be careful of those.
Light at the End of the Tunnel
If you can bridge the divide, it is always worth the effort. Always. I cannot stress that enough. Even if pride is a boulder to swallow, break it into smaller pieces and work on it. Offer some concessions, some goodwill, something to prove any ney-sayers and poison pills on the other side incorrect about their assumptions about your group. Conversation is key. Get the people talking. Learn what the other side has to deal with. Maybe there are pains your group causes them that you're not even aware of. Just learning about such things can help you refocus and make adjustments that may seem minor on your end but could be HUGE on the other end.
Making exchanges of conciliatory effort can go a long way towards building a stronger team, improving communication, raising productivity and positive outlook, and ultimately making a better product. Quality can't happen without a cohesive group of people, and you can't bridge any divides by waiting for the "other side" to make the effort. You often have to make the first move and meet them halfway. Ultimately, until people issues are resolved, you can't achieve an efficient operation or efficient processes. This is where most of the bullshit forms-bloated corporate environments grew out of. People issues give rise to barriers of mistrust and push-back over perceived unfairness of responsibility and effort. You can throw billions of dollars at trying to make those processes automated but if they attempt to lift the human process into a computerized process model, it will be horribly broken, and inefficient at best.
Before you ever consider purchasing or developing a system to model a business process, do some deep analysis of the process itself. Never start with the current process as the assumption of efficiency. In most cases it's nowhere near what it should be. Fix the process. Build cohesion. Push forward, but don't drag the baggage along. It may look frightening at first, and people will scream and complain and flip out, but if the process is re-modeled properly, nobody can argue with a better model. Once that's done, you can translate that into software and hardware and move on to the next challenge.
Sunday, 11 December 2011
A Stack of Quarters
Today, I was playing with a stack of quarters (coins) and thinking about how I perceive the value in them. My financial situation is fair at the moment, but follows a predictable wave and trough pattern with each bi-weekly payroll cycle. On pay day, it's just a stack of quarters. By the second week however, it's my next cup of coffee and snack. When I was laid off a few years back, and unable to find a job, that stack of quarters was precious. I looked at it like a crash survivor would look at the last bottle of water on an isolated island.
It's still, and has always been, just a stack of coins. Their intrinsic value had never really changed. My value of them however changed greatly. It still changes, just not as wildly.
After that thought had run its course, I looked around the room to assess what other material objects fell into this strange bucket of perspective. My TV. My clothes. My blankets. But what about family and friends? Yep. And as absurd as this might sound, and impossible to believe, it's true. It's true for you as well. Here's an example...
You say good bye to your parents after dinner. You kiss your kids good night. You let your dog outside. You do your routine things. But the second life crosses things up and you almost lose one of them, suddenly, immediately, they become incredibly more precious and valuable. Any parent who has panicked while searching for their child in a crowded place knows damn well what I'm talking about. After any perceived threat to the stability of your bond with those you love has occurred, your value of their well-being, their existence, their love, their presence is magnified millions of times.
Thursday, 8 December 2011
Counting Down and Catching Up
I'm still working on multiple projects and another book (maybe). The book is becoming a much bigger project than I expected (not the book on packaging either, totally different topic), so I may be having to make a go/no-go decision soon. It will depend on how well I can reign in the scope and keep it manageable. Otherwise it will be yet another scrapped project. I'll keep you posted on Twitter and Google+, which is where I will be spending most of my time from now on. Some Facebook as well. Friend me or follow me, whatever you like. I could use more friends on Twitter, but I'm using Google+ more than anything else right now. I just like the vibe at this point. It reminds me of Facebook in 2006-2007, before it got bloated and stupefied.
I finally ditched the Blackberry. My 11th Blackberry device since 2000 actually. I now have a shiny new iPhone 4S 16Gb, and I love it. I can't stop playing with the damn thing. I spent a few days in and out of the Verizon store comparing the Androids and iPhones (they didn't have any WP7 models on hand, go figure), and decided on the iPhone 4S mainly for two reasons: The price and the form/size. Some folks refuse to accept that I don't want to friggin huge screen. I want something I can carry and drop in my pocket without looking like a brick. I don't watch a lot of movies on a mobile device, I'll use a laptop or a TV (gasp! a real TV?!) So I'm happy with this for now. Maybe later I'll grow tired of it and yearn for something different, but I'm good for now.
The Windows Web Admin project is long dead, but a lot of it lives on a much bigger project I've been building for a customer. I have to say I love working on it and it's turning into much more than I ever expected. I'm glad the customer likes it as well, that makes it a win-win.
My current arsenal of gadgets to entertain my life:
- Windows 7
- Google Chrome 17 /dev
- Office 2010
- Paint.NET 3.x
- TextPad 5
- Windows Server 2008 R2
- VMware Workstation 8
- Calibre (for authoring e-books)
- System Center Configuration Manager 2007 R3 and 2012 RC1 (lab setup)
- WSUS 3 SP2 (at home, yes, at home)
- InstallShield AdminStudio 10 SP2
- SQL Server 2008 R2
- iPhone 4S (foshizzle!)
- Kindle 3 (love it!)
- A 1995 Subaru Legacy with 160,000 miles (runs like a champ)
- A dog, standard model Beagle, female
- A cat, standard model black-n-white, female
Sunday, 4 December 2011
How AutoCAD Changed the World
Back in the early 1980's, if you did any "design" or "drafting" work, you were most likely working on a physical drawing board and tracing your ideas out on Vellum, Paper, or Mylar sheets using various kinds of mechanical pencil materials or maybe a Rapidograph ink applicator. Maybe you used templates and lettering guides, or shape tracers or flexible curves and those stupid-looking weights we called "ducks" or "whales". In the mid-1980's came the first real significant influx of computerized design technologies. They had weird names like AutoTrol, CADAM and so on. They were collectively termed "CAD" for Computer Aided Design. If they were connected to manufacturing machinery, they were called "CAD/CAM" for CAD + "Computer Aided Manufacturing" (or "Machining"). If they did engineer calculations from design data, they were called "CAD/CAE" some were "CAD/CAM/CAE" and some were just stupid and we called them "overpriced crap". But they were magical for their time.
Here's the snapshot of "before": These first-generation CAD/CAM/CAE systems only, I repeat ONLY, ran on UNIX platforms. Not only that, but most were tuned for specific UNIX platforms, so they were hardware specific, such as DEC, IBM, Sun or a few others (most of which are all gone now). The software alone was often in the $10,000 to $30,000 range PER SEAT. The hardware was just as expensive, or even more expensive. I worked on one system back in that era that was priced at $50,000 for the hardware "workstation" and the design software. Keep in mind that you HAD to purchase vendor support since they did not allow you to work on it yourself, often keeping many of the features, settings and capabilities secret until you paid someone to reveal them to you. Oh yeah. Good times they were not.
Then came along some scrappy little company named Autodesk and they had this cheap little CAD product called "AutoCAD" that actually ran on an IBM-PC. The other vendors laughed and tried to ignore it. I remember an IBM rep saying to us "that's a toy - a piece of crap that'll never go anywhere". I sure wish I could have recorded that for later on.
Maybe you've heard the story of the butterfly that caused a hurricane. This is very similar.
So, as this tiny little snowflake rolled through the fledgling IBM-PC "compatable" market, it began to gather some snow and grow bigger and heavier. For the peanut gallery out there: I'm not implying it was bloated. It wasn't. It became heavier with customers and customer momentum. Still a bit immature at R9, it made heads turn at R10 and R11. Then R12 came out and that snowball was now the size of a truck and rolling faster. As the UNIX market began to respond, it lost some of its footing as well. The big players started losing key developers and managers to smaller startups, all trying desperately to stir up excitement to fend off this new upstart called the "PC". Computervision stumbled, which led to Intergraph and Pro/Engineer. CADAM, Unigraphics and others started making adjustments, and even tried "realigning" licensing costs, but they caught some breathing room when Autodesk stumbled with R13. Then came R14 and it was pretty much a done deal as far as customers balling up those checks for the expensive UNIX fees, and stroking new checks to the much less expensive PC product lines.
As customers moved from UNIX to Windows and Windows NT at an increasing rate, so too did many stalwart UNIX product vendors. CAD/CAM/CAE products previously only available on UNIX were suddenly announcing PC versions. Even the most discerning NASTRAN vendors were poking at the PC market, especially as the PC hardware specs began an accelerated upgrade path.
I saw this firsthand at least four employers, and dozens of businesses I interacted with, and multiple branches of the U.S. Department of Defense: Navy, Army, Air Force, USMC, Coast Guard, even NASA.
No other PC-based CAD product had as much impact on the CAD market, and pushing customers to take the PC platform seriously. It also pointed the light on their budgets and ROI, and suddenly program managers were faced with making serious choices about continuing on with their life-draining budget expenditures, or doing some soul searching about this new PC-based direction.
The rest is history.
Is the UNIX market dead? No. Not at all. Has it scale back? Yes. Most of the major UNIX vendors from Compaq, Sun, Prime, DEC, Silicon Graphics, Helix, Unigraphics, are gone, or have been acquired and renamed. IBM, Dassault, and Integraph remain vibrant, while PTC has undergone multiple shifts in product and services offerings, but seems to be alive and well. One major change from twenty years ago has been the emergence of Siemens.
But even with these legacy companies still bouncing along, they've ported most, sometimes all, of their products to the Windows platform. Love them or hate them, that little snowflake had an impressive impact indeed.
Thursday, 1 December 2011
10 Nerds You Should Be Thankful For
I decided it was time to give thanks to the lords of nerdism. Those who bravely paved the way for you to sit on your lazy ass all day and bitch online about things you have absolutely no control over. Those who made it possible for your to share your expert opinion of politics, economics, religion, fashion, movies, music, food, and TV shows, even though you are quite likely technically unqualified to even speak about any of those subjects. Those who made it possible for you to tweet with one hand, with a drink in the left hand, while driving 60 MPH with your knee on the steering wheel. Those who made it possible for every member of your family to immerse themselves into their own isolated worlds of game consoles, smartphones, media players, tablets and computers, rather than sitting together in one place and having a real conversation. Those who made it possible for you to spend half your life's savings on music and movies you will never actually own. You know: all the good stuff technology has brought us. Here they are...
1 - Grace Hopper
What this nerd did
Grace was an American computer scientist and United States Navy officer. A pioneer in the field, she was one of the first programmers of the Harvard Mark I computer, and developed the first compiler for a computer programming language. She also coined the term "debugging", and was credited for having said "it's easier to ask for forgiveness than it is to get permission".What you got for it
Modern programming languages, which are what all of your current time-destroying toys are built with. Yes, kids, without C++ you wouldn't have Windows, OSX, iOS, Android, Linux, UNIX or any modern computers, tablets, phones, game consoles, and nifty digital dashboards in your nifty little cars. Yes, even your dumbass "Sync" in your Ford car, and your OnStar GM crap are the recipients of compiled programming. Thank you Grace! You kicked ass like a rock star!2 - Tim Berners-Lee
What this nerd did
That's actually "Sir Tim", as he was knighted. A British computer scientist and MIT professor, he invented the "World Wide Web" and co-invented the HyperText Transfer Protocol, aka "HTTP", upon which "the Web" is possible.What you got for it
Unlimited access to 10% useful information, and 90% useless information, mixed with advertisements, porn, games, gambling, medication, and more porn. You also got Amazon, online banking and bill payments, Hulu, Facebook, Google, Twitter, Yelp, FourSquare, UrbanSpoon, Pandora, Spotify, YouTube, and of course: thousands of porn sites.3 - Jonathan Ive
What this nerd did
Jonny is Senior Vice President of Industrial Design at Apple. He is the person who was able to articulate the ideas of Steve Jobs into award-winning, industry-leading, technologically revolutionary product designs.What you got for it
The iMac, titanium and aluminum PowerBook G4, G4 Cube, MacBook, unibody MacBook Pro, MacBook Air, iPod, iPhone, and iPad. Did I mention the iPhone? Oh yeah, you know, that phone that everyone either loves or hates, but without which there WOULD NOT be a touch screen phone market at all. You'd have Nokia and Blackberry clones piled up on every store shelf.4 - John Walker
What this nerd did
Founded Autodesk in 1982. Was the primary person behind the push to incorporate an extensible programming platform within the product to allow customers to enhance the product to suit their needs. The language he chose was LISP and the specialized version built into their flagship AutoCAD product was AutoLISP. (he's pictured in center)What you got for it
The first significant move from ridiculously expensive mainframe and workstation Computer Aided Design (CAD) products to much more affordable IBM/PC capability. The result was an explosion of personal computer design products, modeling and simulation products, visualization and animation products, all of which were previously only available on expensive UNIX hardware at very expensive prices, and without much end-user customization capabilities. Now you have a robust PC market that includes AutoCAD, Revit, Inventor, 3DS Max, Integraph, MicroStation, Maya, NX-CAD, CATIA (used to only be on UNIX), NASTRAN (same), SolidWorks, ANSYS, ALGOR, and much more.5 - Vint Cerf
What this nerd did
Help create the "Internet" from DARPANET.What you got for it
Need I say more? You're welcome. Now, just try to not f*** it up, mmmkay?6 - Marc Andreeson
What this nerd did
Marc Andreessen is an American entrepreneur, investor, software engineer, and multi-millionaire best known as co-author of the NCSA Mosaic, the first widely-used web browser, and co-founder of Netscape Communications Corporation.What you got for it
Lul Cats, YouTube, Reddit, LiveLeaks, Google, Yahoo!, IMDb, YouPorn, Netscape, Internet Explorer, Opera, Webkit (Safari, Chrome), IRS.gov, and of course: ComedyCentral.com. Anyone remember Lynx? How about WAIS, Veronica, Gopher, Telnet and archie? Good times. Not really. Thank God for Marc's work and for giving us the web browser.7 - John Von Neumann
What this nerd did
Devised the "Von Neumann architecture" model, on which all modern computer systems are based.What you got for it
You're reading this on a device that wouldn't exist without it. I would rank John up their with Grace actually, but he didn't exert the same flair for personality that she did. Nonetheless, awesome.8 - Dennis Ritchie
What this nerd did
Dennis was an American computer scientist who "helped shape the digital era."[1] He created the C programming language and, with long-time colleague Ken Thompson, the UNIX operating system.[1] Ritchie and Thompson received the Turing Award from the ACM in 1983, the Hamming Medal from the IEEE in 1990 and the National Medal of Technology from President Clinton in 1999What you got for it
The basis of most modern programming languages, from C++ to Java and .NET. For that you got operating systems, software, firmware (still a lot of it done in ANSI C), mobile device software, automotive software, aircraft software, satellite communications software, oh yeah: and all the games you waste most of your day playing. RIP Dennis.9 - George Boole
What this nerd did
Boole formalized Boolean algebra, the basis for digital logic and computer science. You know: AND, OR, NOT, etc.What you got for it
Every single programming language known to mankind depends on Boolean logic. Dare I say, you're stupid beer-stained flat-panel TV couldn't exist, much less be turned on, were it not for his efforts. Now, say it with me: "Boole Rules!"10 - John McCarthy
What this nerd did
McCarthy was an American computer scientist and cognitive scientist. He coined the term "artificial intelligence" (AI), invented the Lisp programming language and was highly influential in the early development of AI. McCarthy also influenced other areas of computing such as time sharing systems. He received the Turing Award for his major contributions to the field of AI, and many other accolades and honors, including the United States National Medal of Science.
What you got for it
I wouldn't be writing this if it weren't for him. My first programming language involvement was with Common LISP and then AutoLISP. Thanks to John Walker (see above), for making combining McCarthy's work with the graphical design aspect. That was the bug that bit me in the ass (ok, my brain, same thing) and hooked me into programming. Beyond that, his efforts to explore the world of "AI" have led to all sorts of derivative technologies from voice recognition, to traffic management systems, to language parsing, to encryption methods, to statistical analysis. RIP.Sources:
- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grace_Hopper
- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tim_berners-lee
- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jonathan_Ive
- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Walker_(programmer) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autodesk
- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vint_Cerf
- http://www.ibiblio.org/pioneers/andreesen.html
- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_von_Neumann
- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dennis_Ritchie
- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Boole
- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_McCarthy_(computer_scientist)






